The Lift

28-12-2007

ALTON: Yeah, they should've taken care of Castro when they had the chance. Like we did in Guatamala in 'fifty-three.

JERRY: (Adding) Well, Guatamala.

GEORGE: Sure, Guatamala.

ALTON: (Gets up) Alright, you boys get yourselves together. We'll head up to the restaurant. I'll leave a note for Elaine. I'm going to the bathroom. (Leaves)

GEORGE: Come on, let's go!

JERRY: What about Elaine?

GEORGE: To hell with Elaine!

JERRY: She'll be furious.

GEORGE: We're dying here!

(Elaine enters)

JERRY: That's her! She's here!

ELAINE: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Where is Dad?

GEORGE: (Mocking Alton's voice) He's in the bathroom.

JERRY: Where have you been?!

ELAINE: Kramer, that .. Kramer! I'm just about to leave, he calls me up. He begs me to sit in his car for two minutes, so he can pick up these birds..

JERRY: Oh, you didn't..

ELAINE: Well, he said he'd drive me here right after. So, I am sitting in his car twenty minutes! he doesn't come down. I am freezing. Then a cop comes by, tells me to get out of the car. He's a city marshal. He's towing the car away. Kramer owes thousands of dollars in back tickets. He was going to tow it with me in the car! So, they tow the car. Now, I am standing outside, and I am freezing, but I cannot leave because I have to tell him what happened to the car.. so, finally, he finally comes down with his giant cage filled with doves. He said he was getting special instructions, that each dove has a different diet. So, we're wandering around trying to get a cab, when two of these doves fly out! Now we're running down the street after these doves. I almost got hit by a bus. (Sits down, takes a deep breath) ..So how's everything going over here?

JERRY: (After hearing Elaine's story, his is..) Great.

GEORGE: Couldn't be better.

ELAINE: Good. 'Cause Dad can make some people a little uncomfortable.

JERRY: Oh, no, no.

GEORGE: Get outta here..

ELAINE: Man, Kramer! I could kill him.

JERRY: I can't believe it. You know better than to get involved with Kramer.

ELAINE: He said he'd give me a lift.

JERRY: Ah, the lift. Like the lure of the siren's song. Never what it seems to be, yet who among us can resist?

GEORGE: Where do you come up with this stuff?

Seinfeld