Going For The Record

09-11-2008

(Jerry and Elaine take their luggages to the guest room)

HELEN: Where are you going with those?
JERRY: I'm gonna put Elaine's stuff in here.
HELEN: Don't sleep in there. You can you use the bedroom.
ELAINE: I can't take your bedroom.
HELEN: I'm up at 6 o'clock in the morning.
ELAINE: I can't kick you out of your bed.
HELEN: We don't even sleep.
JERRY: Ma.
HELEN: But this is sofa bed, you'll be uncomfortable.
JERRY: (to Morty) What about you?
MORTY: Why should I be comfortable?
JERRY: (to Helen) What about him?
HELEN: Don't worry, he's comfortable.
MORTY: I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine.
HELEN: Will you stop?
ELAINE: Yeah, I'll just stay in here. (goes in the guest room)
HELEN: (asking Jerry to go in the kitchen so Elaine won't hear)Jerry. You don't have to stay on the couch on my account. The two of you could stay in there together.
JERRY: No that's not such a good idea.
HELEN: Well I tought that...
JERRY: Not now. She's right inside.
HELEN: (quieter) What happened?
JERRY: I don't know. We decided we don't really work as a couple.
HELEN: What does that mean?
JERRY: Well...
MORTY: (comes to the kitchen and with a loud voice) Why are you whispering?
JERRY: Shh! Nothing, nothing.
HELEN: Elaine...
MORTY: (still loud) What about her?
JERRY: (tries to explain to Morty but Elaine then comes out of the guest room to get more luggages, so he fakes a conversation) ...but you know, look at the sun-dried tomatoes. Where were they five years ago? It just goes to show you. You never know what... huh (waiting for Elaine to go back in the guest room) you know... huh... What could happen to a vegetable. It could just take right off at any time. (Morty finally gets it. So Jerry goes on quieter) We've tried all kind of arrangments, but we can't seem to be friend when we sleep together.
MORTY: (Morty goes on louder!) Why do you need more friends? You've got plenty of friends.
HELEN: He's an idealist.
MORTY: What the hell are you looking for?
JERRY: I'm looking. That's the point. I like looking.
HELEN: He likes looking.
MORTY: So look.
HELEN: But how long can you look?
JERRY: I'm going for the record.

Seinfeld