It's Not Like That At All!

24-02-2009

Jerry and George are at the coffee shop.
George: I'm going straight to hell, no two ways about it.
Jerry: Well, it might not be hell but you're gonna run into some bad dudes.
George (checking his watch): Hey, let's get the check, she's taking the bandages off at four o'clock.
Jerry: We have time.
George: It's exciting, isn't it? She's gonna have a whole new face.
Jerry: It is exciting.
George: Of course, not as exciting as miss crop circles, but...
Jerry: Please, please, Isabel? She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life. I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.
George: You're not letting him win. He wins till you're forty.
Jerry: Then what?
George: He still wins but it's not a blowout.
Jerry: She wants to be an actress. She makes me read these moronic acting scenes with her, and I do it because I'm so addicted to the sex, I'm helpless, I'll do anything. So finally Kramer comes in the other day.
(flashback to Kramer and Jerry in Jerry's apartment)
Jerry (holding up a piece of paper): I don't want to see this woman anymore but I haven't got the will power to throw out her number. Please, help me. Help me.
Kramer (taking the paper and tearing it to pieces): I'm proud of you.
(end of flashback)
Jerry: So I'm never gonna see her again, I'm going cold turkey.
George: Good for you.
Jerry: I'll tell you, the sex... I mean, I was like an animal. I mean it was just completely uninhibited.
George: It's like going to the bathroom in front of a lot of people and not caring.
Jerry: It's not like that at all.

Seinfeld