The Funeral

26-11-2007

HELEN: Who did you talk to?
JERRY: Uncle Leo.
HELEN: And when's the funeral?
JERRY: I don't know. He said he'd call back.
MORTY: You know what this means, don't you? We lost the supersaver. Those tickets are non-refundable.
HELEN: She just had a check-up. The doctor said she was fine. Unless..
JERRY: What?
HELEN: What? Nothing.
JERRY: You don't think.. What? The pony remark?
HELEN: Oh, don't be ridiculous. She was an old woman.
JERRY: You don't think that I killed her?
MORTY: You know what the flight back'll cost us?
JERRY: It was just an innocent comment! I didn't know she had a pony!
MORTY: Maybe we can get an army transport flight. They got a base in Sarasota, I think.
JERRY: The whole thing ws taking out of context. It was a joke. (Phone rings) That's probably Uncle Leo.
(Helen picks it up)
HELEN: Hello? ..Yes, I know.. Well, it's just one of those things.. Sure, sure, we'll see you then. (Hangs up) The funeral's Wednesday.
JERRY: Wednesday? What, what Wednesday?
HELEN: Two o' clock, Wednesday. (Jerry shrugs) What?
JERRY: I've got the softball game on Wednesday. It's the championship.
HELEN: So? You're not obligated. Go play in your game.
JERRY: I didn't even know the woman.
HELEN: So don't go.
JERRY: I mean I met her three times. I don't know her last name.
HELEN: Jerry, no one's forcing you.
JERRY: I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday? That's what I want to know. I mean, it's the championship. I'm hitting everything.
HELEN: I don't have a dress to wear. (To Morty) And you. You don't have anything.
MORTY: I got a sport jacket.
HELEN: You're not wearing that to a funeral.
MORTY: What's wrong with it?
HELEN: It looks ridiculous.
MORTY: What? I'm gonna buy a new jacket now?
JERRY: I don't know what to do.
MORTY: ..You know what this funeral's gonna wind up costing me? Oh boy!

Seinfeld