Levels

17-11-2007

HELEN: You know, I spoke to Manya and Isaac on the phone today. They invited you again. I think you should go.
JERRY: First of all, I made plans with Elaine.
HELEN: So bring her.
JERRY: I don't even know them. What is she, your second cousin? I mean, I've met them three times in my life.
MORTY: I don't know her either. (Gesturing to Helen) She makes me fly all the way from Florida for this, and then she criticizes my jacket.
HELEN: At least come and say hello, have a cup of coffee, then you'll leave.
MORTY: How come he gets to leave?
JERRY: If I wind up sitting nest to Uncle Leo, I am leaving. He's always grabbing my arm when he talks to me. I guess it's because so many people have left in the middle of his conversation.
MORTY: And it's always about Jeffrey, right?
JERRY: Hey, he talks about him like he split the atom. The kid works for the Parks Department.
(Enter Kramer)
KRAMER: Morty, are you coming in?
MORTY: Oh, yeah. I forgot all about it.
KRAMER: (To Jerry) Hey, how'd you do?
JERRY: We won. We're in the finals on Wednesday..
KRAMER: Yeah!
JERRY: (To Kramer and Morty) What is this about?
KRAMER: I'm completely changing the configuration of the apartment. You're not gonna believe it when you see it. A whole new lifestyle.
JERRY: What are you doing?
KRAMER: Levels.
JERRY: Levels?
KRAMER: Yeah, I'm getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. And I'm going to build these different levels, with steps, and it'll all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. You know, like ancient Egypt.
JERRY: You drew up plans for this?
KRAMER: No, no. It's all in my head.
MORTY: I don't know how you're going to be comfortable like that.
KRAMER: Oh, I'll be comfortable.
JERRY: When do you intend to do this?
KRAMER: Ohh.. should be done by the end of the month.
JERRY: You're doing this yourself?
KRAMER: It's a simple job. Why, you don't think I can?
JERRY: Oh, no. It's not that I don't think you can. I know that you can't, and I'm positive that you won't.
KRAMER: Well, I got the tools. I got the pillows. All I need is the lumber.
MORTY: Hey, that's some big job.
JERRY: I don't see it happening.
KRAMER: Well, this time, this time you're wrong. C'mon. I'll even bet you.
JERRY: Seriously?
HELEN: I dont' want you betting. Morty, don't let him bet.
KRAMER: A big dinner with dessert. But I've got till the end of the month.
JERRY: I'll give you a year.
KRAMER: No, no, no. End of the month.
JERRY: It's a bet. (They both "pinkie swear" to lock the deal)

Seinfeld