A Couple Of Tough Monkeys

01-09-2007

"ELAINE: (cont.) "Picking someone up at the airport." "Jury Duty." "Waiting for cable guy."
JERRY: Okay, just hand that over, please.
ELAINE: Oh, what is this?
JERRY: It's a list of excuses, it's for that guy, Horneck, who's at the game tonight with my tickets. I have that list now so in case he calls, I just consult it and i don't have to see him. (Elaine laughs.) I need it. (Elaine starts writing on the list.) What are you doing?
ELAINE: I got some for you.
JERRY: I don't need anymore.
ELAINE: No, no, no, no, no, these are good. Listen, listen: "You ran out of underwear, you can't leave the house."
JERRY: (sarcastic) Very funny.
ELAINE: How about: "You've been diagnosed as a multiple personality, you're not even you, you're Dan."
JERRY: I'm Dan. Can I have my list back, please?
ELAINE: (gives Jerry the list) Here, here. Jerry Seinfeld, I cannot believe you're doing this. This is absolutely infantile.
JERRY: What can I do?
ELAINE: Deal with it. Be a man!
JERRY: Oh no. That's impossible. I'd rather lie to him for the rest of my life that go through that again. He was crying, tears accompanied by mucus.
ELAINE: You made a man cry? I've never made a man cry. I even kicked a guy in the groin once and he didn't cry.. I got the cab.
JERRY: A couple of tough monkeys."

Seinfeld