Laundry Day

21-05-2007

"Laundry Day is the only Exciting Day in the Life of Clothes. It is. No, think about it. The washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. You, know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening, they're all kind of dancin' around in there. Shirt grabs the underwear, "Come on, babe, let's go." You come by, you open up the lid, they all [he freezes].

Socks are the most amazing article of clothing. They hate their lives; they're in the shoes with stinky feet, the boring drawers. The dryer is their only chance to escape an' they all know it. They do escape from the dryer--they plan it in the hamper, the night before. "Tomorrow. The Dryer. I'm goin'."

"You wait here."

The Dryer door swings open, the sock is waiting up against the side wall. [stands like a guy standing flat against a wall, looking left and right, cautious] He hopes you don't see him, an' he goes down the road! [hums a jaunty tune] They get buttons sewn on their face--join a puppet show.

So they're showin' me on television the detergent for getting out blood stains. Is this a violent image to anybody: blood stains? I mean, come on, you got a tee-shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now! You're gonna get the harpoon outta your chest first!"

Seinfeld