Rental Car

17-03-2009

New scene. Jerry and Elaine are in line at the rental car agency.
Elaine: I'm in awe of his intellect, when he talks it sounds like he's reading from one of his novels.
Jerry: Owen March, I never heard of him.
Elaine: Well, he's not a baseball player.
Jerry: Yeah, that's true. Well it sounds like it's going pretty good.
Elaine: Yeah. Well, there is one little problem.
Jerry: What's that?
Elaine: He's sixty-six years old.
Rental car agent: Next please.
Elaine: Well, go, go.
Agent: Can I help you? Name please?
Jerry: Seinfeld. I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she's a small(pointing to Elaine). I'm kidding around, of course.
Agent: Okay, let's see here.
Jerry: Sixty-six years old?
Elaine: Yeah, well, he's in perfect health. He works out, he's vibrant. You'd really like him.
Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?
Elaine: What do you think, would you go out with a sixty-six year old woman?
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she'd be spinning.
Agent: I'm sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.
Jerry: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?
Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation.
Agent: I know why we have reservations.
Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
Agent: Let me, uh, speak with my supervisor.
The agent goes into an office with a window in the door so she can be seen speaking with someone.
Jerry: Uh, here we go. The supervisor. You know what she's saying over there?
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Hey Marge, you see those two people over there? They think I'm talking to you, so you pretend like you're talking to me, okay now you start talking.
Elaine: Oh, you mean like this? So it looks like I'm saying something but I'm not really saying anything at all?
Jerry: Now you say something else and they won't yell at me 'cause they thought I was checking with you.
Elaine: Okay, that's it. I think that's enough, see you later.
The agent returns.
Agent: I'm sorry, my supervisor says there's nothing we can do.
Jerry: Yeah, it looked as if you were in a real conversation over there.
Agent: But we do have a compact if you would like that.
Jerry: Fine.
Agent: Alright. We have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?
Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.

Seinfeld