Just A Hunch

11-02-2010

Jerry and George are at Jerry's apartment.

George: I left three messages. I can't believe this woman. She has sex with me, leaves ten minutes later then I never hear from her again. What kind of a person does this? I mean, she used me. I feel cheap and violated.
Jerry: Well, I'm gonna do something about this.
George: What are you gonna do?
Jerry: Nevermind. Disgraceful. Leaves you sitting there on the kitchen floor like some kind of roach trap. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Sir, whatever. She's not going to get away with this.
George: I keep wracking my brain to try and figure out what I did. I was smart, I was funny, I made great small talk with the waitress so she could see I could relate to the commoners, you know, I'm a man of the people.
Jerry: I'm gonna call her.
George: No, don't call her.
Jerry: No, I'm calling her.
George: No, Jerry, don't call.
Jerry: No, forget it, I'm gonna call.
George: I don't want you to call.
Jerry: Get away from me, I'm gonna call her.
George: Give me the phone!
Jerry: George, do you wanna fight? Do you wanna fight?
George: Jerry, I'm gonna kill you!

Kramer enters and gets between them to break up the fight.

Kramer: Hey hey hey!! Come on! Jerry, George, now stop it!
Jerry: I'll just call her when you leave!
George: You can't do that, it's none of your business!
Jerry: It is so my business!
Kramer: Hey hey hey! I don't want to hear another word out of either one of you!
George: But tell him to give me the--
Kramer: Ay ay ay! The next one of you that opens up your mouth, says something, you're gonna have to deal with me. You know, I bet I know what this is about. It's about a woman, isn't it?
George: No.
Jerry: Yeah, but--
Kramer: Yeah yeah! You see, this is exactly what they want to do to you. They play one against the other. You can't let them manipulate you like that.
Jerry: But Kramer--
Kramer: Noh noh noh! I want you guys to shake hands. Come on, there are plenty of women out there for all of us, let's go.

Jerry and George shake hands.

Kramer: Yes. You see? Isn't that better than fighting? Animosity? I mean, you wanna fight with somebody, you fight with me. Oh, by the way George, you know those condoms I gave you? They're defective, don't use them.
George: What?
Kramer: Right.
George: Defective?!
Kramer: Defective.
George (attacking Kramer): How could you give me a defective condom?!
Kramer: I didn't even know they were defective.

Jerry gets between them to break up the fight.

Kramer: Didn't even think you were gonna use them.
George: What do you mean you didn't think I wasn't gonna use them?!
Jerry: Take it easy, you guys, just spread out! Don't worry about it, if anything was wrong she would have called you already!

New scene.
Elaine answers her door, it's Cynthia.

Cynthia: I missed my period.
Elaine: Oh my god.
Cynthia: I am very worried, I am never late.
Elaine: But he used a condom, right?
Cynthia: I know, but these things aren't always foolproof.
Elaine: Oh no.
Cynthia: What?
Elaine: Was it blue?
Cynthia: Yeah. How'd you know?
Elaine: Just a hunch.

Seinfeld