Home Bed Advantage

11-04-2008

GEORGE: (Pays his bill) Thanks, see ya later, Donna. (Walks out, he runs into Jerry outside the shop) What happened to you?

JERRY: You can't believe what I just did.

GEORGE: What? What did you do?

JERRY: I could tell you what I did, but you wouldn't believe it. It's not believable.

GEORGE: What did you do?

JERRY: How could I have done that?

GEORGE: Done what?

JERRY: I told Elaine about an apartment opening up in my building. She's going to move in.

GEORGE: Elaine's moving into your building?

JERRY: Yes. Right above me.

GEORGE: Right above you?

JERRY: Yes.

GEORGE: You're gonna be neighbors.

JERRY: I know. Neighbors.

GEORGE: She's right above you?

JERRY: Right above me.

GEORGE: How could you do that?

JERRY: 'Cause I'm an idiot! You may think you're an idiot, but with all due respect - I'm a much bigger idiot than you are.

GEORGE: Don't insult me, my friend. Remember who you're talking to. No one's a bigger idiot than me.

JERRY: Did you ever ask an ex-girlfriend to move into your building?

GEORGE: Did you ever go to a singles weekend in the Poconos?

JERRY: She's right in my building! Right above me! Every time I come in the building, I'm gonna have to sneak around like a cat burglar.

GEORGE: You're doomed. You're gonna have to have all your sex at women's apartments. It'll be like a permanent road trip. Forget about the home bed advantage.

JERRY: But I need the home bed advantage!

GEORGE: Of course, we all do.

Seinfeld