Newman's Helmet

11-11-2010

[Monk's]
GEORGE: I never should have brought her up there. Should have known better. Should have seen it coming. I didn't see it coming.
JERRY: I think SHE saw it coming.
GEORGE: You know she was behind the idea. She was going to champion the show. That's what I was bring her up there to tell you. And she liked me.
JERRY: Look just because Kramer vomited on her doesn't mean the deal is dead.
GEORGE: What, are you crazy? It's a traumatic thing to be thrown up on.
JERRY: Vommiting is not a deal breaker. If Hitler had vommited on Chamberlain, Chamberlain still would have given him Chekoslovakia.
GEORGE: Chamberlain, you could hold his head in the toilet, he'd still give you half of Europe.
[Kramer enters with helmet]
JERRY: What happened to you?
KRAMER: Devola came after me.
JERRY: What? Devola? See I told you this guy is crazy. I can't believe this. What happened?
KRAMER: Can I have a coffee? ... What, you know I was walking home and I had to pick up my helmet from the shop, you know. I got a new strap. And I had it on, you know, and I was checking the strap out to make sure it fit. Then suddenly I feel this kick hit me on the side of the head. It knocks me down, I look up and it's Crazy Joe Devola. And he says, "That's what I think of your party."
JERRY: Boy,that is some kick.
KRAMER: Well, yeah, Newman's helmet, it saved my life. Look at that.
JERRY: Wow, Newman's helmet.
GEORGE: Holly.
KRAMER: I got bad news for you buddy. Devola says you're next.
JERRY: Me, why?
KRAMER: He doesn't like you.
JERRY: What does he want from me? I didn't do anything. See this is all Elaine's fault. She took off to Europe with his psychiatrist. He probably can't get his medication. Now I got some nut after me.
KRAMER: Pass the cream.
GEORGE: Wait a second. [smells it]. all right.

Seinfeld