About Nothing

26-09-2010

GEORGE: So, what's happening with the TV show? You come up with anything?
JERRY: No, nothing.
GEORGE: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
JERRY: What do you need salsa for?
GEORGE: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
JERRY: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where is the salsa? No salsa?"
GEORGE: You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. (Angry) "I wanted seltzer, not salsa."
JERRY: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?? You have the seltezer after the salsa!"
GEORGE: See, this should be a show. This is the show.
JERRY: What?
GEORGE: This. Just talking.
JERRY: (dismissing) Yeah, right.
GEORGE: I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea.
JERRY: Just talking? Well what's the show about?
GEORGE: It's about nothing.
JERRY: No story?
GEORGE: No forget the story.
JERRY: You've got to have a story.
GEORGE: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for, for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a TV show.
JERRY: And who is on the show? Who are the characters?
GEORGE: I could be a character.
JERRY: You?
GEORGE: Yeah. You could base a character on me.
JERRY: So, on the show, there's a character named George Costanza?
GEORGE: Yeah. There's something wrong with that? I'm a character. People are always saying to me, "You know you're a quite a character."
JERRY: And who else is on the show?
GEORGE: Elaine could be a character. Kramer..
JERRY: Now he's a character. (Pause) So everybody I know is a character on the show.
GEORGE: Right.
JERRY: And it's about nothing?
GEORGE: Absolutely nothing.
JERRY: So you're saying, I go in to NBC, and tell them I got this idea for a show about nothing.
GEORGE: We go into NBC.
JERRY: "We"? Since when are you a writer?
GEORGE: (Scoffs) Writer. We're talking about a sit-com.
JERRY: You want to go with me to NBC?
GEORGE: Yeah. I think we really go something here.
JERRY: What do we got?
GEORGE: An idea.
JERRY: What idea?
GEORGE: An idea for the show.
JERRY: I still don't know what the idea is.
GEORGE: It's about nothing.
JERRY: Right.
GEORGE: Everybody's doing something, we'll do nothing.
JERRY: So, we go into NBC, we tell them we've got an idea for a show about nothing.
GEORGE: Exactly.
JERRY: They say, "What's your show about?" I say, "Nothing."
GEORGE: There you go.
(A moment passes)
JERRY: (Nodding) I think you may have something there.

Seinfeld