That's Interesting

11-02-2011

Elaine and Kramer sit on the couch.

ELAINE: Okay, so he just wants to talk to you. I couldn't talk him out of it. So you just tell him that you're my boyfriend and that we're in love, okay. Can you do that?
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm your boyfriend.
ELAINE: Okay.
KRAMER: Have we been intimate?
ELAINE: Yeah. Yeah, we've been intimate.
KRAMER: Alright, how often do we do it?
ELAINE: Kramer, how is that important? Honestly, do you really think he's gonna ask you that?
KRAMER: Elaine, he's a psychiatrist. They're interested in stuff like that.
ELAINE: Alright, alright. We do it, uh... (thinks) five times a week, okay?
KRAMER: (suggestive) Oooh, baby. (smiles)
ELAINE: Oh, man. Alright, listen. Just tell me something, what are you gonna say?
KRAMER: I know what I'm gonna say.
ELAINE: No, no, but I would like to hear it.
KRAMER: No, no. I don't wanna say it out loud. Kills the spontaneity. You know, Gleason, he never rehearsed. (indicates phone) 'Kay, go 'head, do it.

Elaine picks up the phone, while Kramer prepares himself.

ELAINE: (dialling) Alright, okay. You talk to him.
KRAMER: (playing with his hair) Talk to him.
ELAINE: Hey, how's your hair?
KRAMER: Oh, well, yeah, it's good.
ELAINE: (handing over the phone) You're not the type that should be playing with matches, seriously Kramer.
KRAMER: (listens) Uh, yes. Uh uh, Doctor uh, Reston, is he in? Well, this is Kramer and uh, he's expecting my call.
ELAINE: (mouths silently) Okay.

Kramer holds on. He begins to sing along with the hold music.

KRAMER: (singing) ...Johnny ...was a rebel. He rode through the land...

He waggles his eyebrows at Elaine, who gives a 'what the hell is he doing?' look.

KRAMER: ...Yu uh, yes, yes uh, uh, Doctor Reston. Uhm well, hello there. Ahh yeah, well, I'm a good friend of Elaine's...
ELAINE: (animated, but quietly) No, no. Not friends.
KRAMER: ...Well, actually uh, we're uh, we're not friends Uh, we're uh, we're much more than friends...

Elaine signals her approval, indicating that Kramer should keep going.

KRAMER: ...and uh, I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem. Well, the point is, doctor uh, I'm very much in love with Elaine...

Elaine smiles.

KRAMER: ...and uh, she's very much in love with me, and uh, well uh, we would uh, appreciate it if you would cease and desist, and allow us to pursue our courtship unfettered.

Elaine looks extremely pleased, she gives Kramer okay gestures.

ELAINE: (mouths silently) That's perfect!

KRAMER: If not, I can assure you, doctor, that I can make things very unpleasant for you and your staff. If you have one.

Elaine looks even happier. She slaps Kramer on the arm to indicate he's doing so well.

KRAMER: Yes. Yeah, but the point that I... (listens)

Elaine's smile begins to look a bit stiff.

KRAMER: ...Ah, ye... (listens) Well, no... Uh, yeah, that's possible...

Elaine's face starts to look a bit sick.

KRAMER: (listens) ...Well, I suppose I could, (turns away from Elaine) but I'd have to shift a few things around, uhm... Hold on for a second, will you? Uh...

Kramer reaches down and picks up a writing pad, he puts it on his knee.
Elaine watches, looking increasingly confused and worried.

KRAMER: ... Uh, go ahead, yeah. (listens and makes a note) Alright uh... Yeah, yeah, okay... I look forward to it too. (listens) Eh, hah, okay. So
long.

Kramer hangs up the phone.

ELAINE: What happened? What'd he say? (indicates pad) What's going on here?
KRAMER: Uh, okay now. He uh, you know, he uh, wants to get together.
ELAINE: (horrified) Get together!!
KRAMER: He wants to talk.
ELAINE: Well, why didn't you say no!!
KRAMER: (momentary confusion) Wha...? Uh... (thoughtful) That's interesting.

Elaine flops back into the couch, let down again by Kramer.

ELAINE: (frustration) Ugh!

Seinfeld