The Keys

10-06-2010

New scene. Jerry's hallway at night. Jerry approaches his door with a girlfriend.

GIRLFRIEND: I'm really happy the movie was sold out.
JERRY: Hey, did you ever pretend there's like, murderers chasing you, and you try and see how fast you can get your keys out and get into your apartment?
GIRLFRIEND: I'm from Witchita, so...
JERRY: Oh. I see. There he is!
GIRLFRIEND: Hurry, Jerry! He's coming! Hurry!
JERRY: The murderers!
GIRLFRIEND: That was close!
JERRY: Did you see the look on that guy's face?
GIRLFRIEND: You were so fast with those keys.
JERRY: Kramer! What the hell are you doing here?!
KRAMER: Hey, Jerry! How are ya? I thought you were going to the movies.
JERRY: All right, that's it. Hand 'em over.
KRAMER: What?
JERRY: What, you know what, the keys. I want the keys. You've lost your key privileges.
KRAMER: Oh, come on!
JERRY: No, come on!
KRAMER: What, what, I thought you went to the movies!
JERRY: It was sold out!
KRAMER: Now how was I supposed to know it was going to be sold out?
JERRY: That's the point.
KRAMER: What point?
JERRY: Just, look, just give the keys.
KRAMER: Just give me another chance!
JERRY: Don't ask me!
KRAMER: I'm asking you!
JERRY: I'm telling you.
KRAMER: You're joking.
JERRY: I'm serious!
KRAMER: It's not going to happen again!
JERRY: Yes it will, now give me those keys!

KRAMER (getting up): O.K., fine, go ahead, you take the keys! But you're going to regret this.

Seinfeld